Once per turn, during your Main Phase, if you control this card on the field, you can equip it to your "Aitsu" as an Equip Card, OR unequip the Union equipment and Special Summon this card in face-up Attack Position. While equipped to a monster by this card's effect, increase the ATK of the equipped monster by 3000 points. When it attacks with an ATK that is higher than the DEF of a Defense Position monster, inflict the difference as Battle Damage to your opponent's Life Points. (1 monster can only be equipped with 1 Union Monster at a time. If the equipped monster is destroyed as a result of battle, destroy this card instead.)
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Set Roll Out, use Celestial Transformation to summon Koitsu, use him as the tribute for Aitsu, then activate Roll Out when your opponent declares an attack on Aitsu. (or just on your next turn if they aren't stupid enough to take the bait.)
You're probably better off just using Dakini or Gear Golem, but those will never give you the satisfaction of kicking ass using a joke character from a comedy game.